Working with some different ideas as well as writing styles so don’t hold it against me. Unless that’s what you’re into.
Not entirely understanding the question, I simply said the first thing that came to mind. “I’m seeing the hitchhikers guide -meets- the matrix, then they both hooked up with the same woman, but aren’t sure who the father is, however they have to go to a specialist far, far away to even test for such a thing. I’m pretty sure acid made it’s way in here, yet which twisted optimistic-future it brought along is beyond me. ”
I don’t know, it just felt right, you know? Fuck it, I’ll probably be dissected soon anyway. Damn it…forgot again, I’m trying to curse less. The doc used to say it starts with your thoughts, but hell, clearly it’s a verbal habit. And the doc is a long way away at this point.
Looking more than a bit confused, the “interviewer” let’s call it, asked again.
“Con yew till meh hao ew ah exper-i-uncen owah eeeeality?”
It gives me a look that seems to say – Actually, I have no idea to be honest. One large eye, atop a very round and oddly enough, pleasing looking body. I say pleasing because frankly I’d like to steal it and auction it off to the highest bidder on whatever passes for a black market around here. Wherever “here” is i mean.
Exhaling i say to it.
“Is that multiple choice? Forget it, i know how to explain it to you just fine, so that we’re on the same page. ”
And then i blacked out….
Huh? What the hell. Where did that come from? I couldn’t see a dam- couldn’t see a thing, but the darkness seemed strange. Am i blind? I could also smell what had to be BlackBerry pie, good God I’m starving.
“Hallo, are you ready to get up? Your vitals are totally fine, and no you are not blind, It is just your new eyes adjusting. ”
The strange voice said. It sounded friendly, and the accent reminded me of a swiss woman i had met on a year abroad, but i could only imagine what i was actually going to see with these new eyes the voice had for a body.
Trying to play the cool patient i respond.
“What happened? Did i faint or something? I’m not a fainter you know. ”
It giggled in an overly girly way at that last bit. “No, no, we simply zipped your consciousness when we realized you weren’t syncing with our reality. It’s not uncommon for new arrivals to experience such a thing, at least you didn’t vomit all over me! That’s happened so many times i simply come in wearing nothing at all. Less laundry that way you know? ” Before even considering her lack of clothing, I am greeted with another giggle, then I hear beeping & lots of ringing.
“Ahhhhh, what’s that sound!
“Ooo! One moment! Ahm…yes, this should do it… ”
Then I blacked out. Again. But just before my thoughts left me, I had a flash of self conscious thoughts ran through my mind. This is really becoming a bad habit. Do other people black out this much? Does it usually take this long? At least I didn’t puke. Oh man, what does that mean, that I didn’t puke? Probably nothing. Or something…
And then I shut up.